Hindu Wedding

Hinduism is an ancient assortment of socio-religious customs and way of life dating back to the Indo-European peoples who settled in India (and the adjoining areas today knows as Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, and Nepal) two thousand years before Christ. Marriage is not only a contract to the Hindus, but a samskara (sacred trust), so the wedding ceremony is lead by a priest and carried out in accord with rites set in the Veda (Holy Scripture). It is a sophisticated and timely ritual; in India, it can last all day.

Here in America, the ceremony has been modified to approximately an hour and a half, though cultural and pre- and post-wedding traditions can make the celebration last several days. The wedding is characterized by symbolic rituals proposed to educate the couple in the lessons for married life, and by the chanting of mantras (prayers in the Sanskrit language) to call upon blessings on their union. Though it is a rich and holy ceremony, a Hindu wedding does not have to be performed in a temple.

The ceremony begins when a beautifully decorated bride (she usually wears a red and gold sari and is decorated with jewels) welcomes her groom and the two exchange floral garlands. Blessings are wanted, protective amulets are tied to the wrists of the couple, family lineage is delivered, and the father of the bride presents his daughter to the groom in marriage. The groom consents by tying a pendant around the bride’s neck as a sign of happiness and fidelity.

Additional prayers are recited as the couple makes offerings to each other and sacrifices into the ceremonial fire. Then, attached to one another with a sash, they lead each other around the fire seven times (called Sapta Padi) to indicate their vow to walk through life’s challenges together. The groom spreads vermilion powder to the part in the bride’s hair as a sign of her new status as a married woman, the priest declares a blessing, and the couple is showered with turmeric rice.

The Hindu faith is not rigid; it recognizes that every religion is true or a passageway to truth. As a result, interfaith marriage is not an concern from a religious point of view, though the loss of a cultural identity and a way of life through intermarriage may be.

Muslim Wedding

The world’s second largest religion (after Christianity), Islam was founded by the Prophet Muhammad in the seventh century A.D. It is still the leading expression of faith in all of Arabia and much of the Middle East. However, Islam is more than a religion, its stress on the temporal community makes it, in a Western sense, law. In Muslim states, Islam supplies the guiding principles of political, economic, and social life, as well as of religious belief and practices.

The word Islam means, "surrender." All Muslims accept surrender to the will of Allah, the one supreme God, and His will is made known through the Koran (Islamic scriptures). As a result, views for every portion of spiritual and temporal life can be found there, including the rules concerning marriage and family.

Marriage is a holy and desirable union under Islamic law and, contrary to popular opinions, monogamy is largely the rule of practice. Women have preemptive rights over home and children, and their husbands are bound to protect them and to provide for them.

For this reason, the actual "wedding" is a private civil and religious contract. It does not take place in a mosque, but in an office. The agreement having been negotiated ahead of time by the groom and the bride’s closest male relative (but not without her consent), the couple comes before a religious sheikh (an Islamic magistrate) with three male witnesses to grant the marriage. The magistrate will ask what the groom is giving the bride (a dower). The dower must include enough money, gold, and gifts to serve as her "insurance" for the future. (Thus, the popular Arabic saying that "The father of many daughters is a wealthy man.")

Once all is agreed, the papers are signed. Under Islamic law, the couple is now legally and spiritually wed, though usually, the bride returns to her parents’ home to complete plans for the "wedding" celebration. A week or two later, the public celebrations of the marriage takes place with a series of parties and rituals. There is no wedding, in a Western sense, only the receptions. The celebrations may be held at the bride’s home, or out (at a hotel or club), but the groom or his family bears the cost.

The first night is for women only, as the bride is dressed in a ceremonial caftan and her hands and feet are patterned with henna. On the second and, sometimes, third nights, banquets are held (one for the bride, one for the groom), often for several hundred relatives and friends. Arabic oud music, singing, dancing, and the traditional "wedding wail" of the women describe these celebrations.

At the end of the last evening’s banquet, the couple (the bride often wearing a white wedding dress) appears and ascends to a throne or place of honor. By tradition, after this public appearance, they will go to their own home to consummate the marriage (though legally they already may have done so).

The traditional celebration of a Muslim marriage translates easily to the United States, but the marriage itself must be arranged through a local Islamic community leader. Interfaith union is not an issue, since Christians, Jews, and Hindus are regarded as "people of the Book," but intercultural marriage and equal protection under Islamic law may be.

Emanating from the Hindu tradition, but not a part of that religion, Sikhism was founded in 1469 by Guru Nanak Dev Ji. The Holy Book, the Guru Granth Sahib Ji, contains the teachings and hymns of the religion whose basic philosophy is the belief in one God and the equality of all people.

Sikhism originated in Punjab, India, and while the faith has spread to other regions of the world, the language of prayer remains Punjabi and the dominant culture of its traditions is Indian. The Sikh wedding ceremony, appropriately called Arnand Karaj (the ceremony of bliss), seals the religious, moral, and legal obligations of the couple and solemnizes the union of souls. In some ways, it is similar in tone and appearance to the Hindu wedding ceremony, but in other ways, it is very different.

A Sikh marriage may not be performed in a guardwara (Sikh temple) or not. Regardless, the ceremony is characterized by the central platform on which The Holy Book is displayed, by the granthi (official reader/priest) who conducts the ceremony, and by the raagis (professional singers) who play the harmonium and sing the poetic hymns from the Granth. Guests are seated on the floor around the central area, men to the right of The Holy Book, women to the left.

Before the actual ceremony begins, the parents of the bride welcome the groom and his parents and garland them with flowers. Then the bride is brought in by her friends to greet the groom. She garlands him, and receives a garland in return. The raagis play as guests enter and the couple take their places before the priest and The Holy Book. The bride’s father hands one end of a sash to the groom and the other end to the bride to signify giving her away.

The wedding ceremony consists of four holy verses from the Granth that explain the obligations of married life. Each verse is read, then sung. During the singing, the groom leads the bride in a ceremonial walk around The Holy Book for a total of four circumambulations called lavaans. The ceremony concludes with a short hymn and a final prayer and the sharing of a sweet food, karah parshad. Guests may then garland the couple or throw flower petals as symbols of happiness.

The Sikh ceremony takes about a hour and is almost always held before noon, the morning being the happy time of day. Brides wear traditional Indian dress, in red, pink, or white, depending on their regional custom, and grooms wear white brocade suits and carry swords. As in the Hindu faith, intermarriage is not a religious issue, but more of a cultural one.

Byzantine Catholic (Easter Rite) Wedding

For people to realize that the Catholic Church in America includes over a million Eastern Rite Catholics, who are under the jurisdiction of the Holy See in Rome and who practice their faith under Catholic Canon Law, but whose customs and traditions are quire different from those practice in the Western or Roman Rite. The Byzantine Church encompasses Ukrainian, Maronite, Melkite, Romanian, Slovakian, Armenian, Chaldean, and Assyrian Catholics.

Emanating from the same Eastern European and Mediterranean cultures as he Eastern Orthodox Churches (Greek, Russian, etc., who do not recognize the Pope as the head of the Church and who are therefore not Catholic), the wedding ritual of the Eastern Rite Catholic is similar in form and pageantry to the rituals of the Eastern Orthodox Churches. The nuptial liturgy has its own ritual and is generally not performed within the context of a Mass. The ceremony is very prescribed and ornate, involves processions, crowns, and icons, and takes approximately one hour. Music is choral, not organ, and the language of the service is generally the language of the community.

The Greek Orthodox wedding ceremony is an ancient and beautiful service. A unique part of the ceremony is that the Bride and Groom do not say any vows. The ceremony itself shows the couples’ willingness to come forward and be married, and accept God into their new home.

The ceremony consists of two parts: The Service of Betrothal and the Ceremony of the Sacrament of Marriage. Each part of the ceremony has a special meaning and is significant in the joining of husband and wife. The ceremony starts as the Bride and Groom are each handed white candles to symbolize their willingness to accept Christ into their lives.

Some important elements of the GO ceremony include that the couple must have a religious sponsor(s). They are called Koumbaro (male) or Koumbara (female). They serve as an important witness to the union. Also, during the ceremony, certain acts and phrases are repeated three times. This represents the Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

The Service of Betrothal: The focus of the Betrothal is the exchanging of rings. The priest starts by blessing the rings and the couple. The rings are then placed on the third fingers of the right hands of the Bride and Groom. The reason the rings are placed on the right hand is because it is the right hand of God that blesses, and to which Christ ascended. The Koumbara or Koumbaro then exchanges the rings three times on the couples’ fingers. This symbolizes the strength of the married couple.

The Ceremony of the Sacrament of Marriage:The Sacrament of Marriage consists of many important parts. As the priest concludes his prayers, he joins the right hands together of the Bride and Groom, and they stay joined until the end of the ceremony to signify the union of the couple.

The Crowning :  The crowning of the couple with the stefana (two flowered crowns attached by white ribbon) signifies glory and honor that God crowns them with. The ribbon symbolizes the unity of the couple. The Koumbaro or Koumbara also plays a part by interchanging the crowns on the couples’ heads.

The Common Cup:  The crowning is followed by readings of the Epistle and the Gospel. The Gospel reading describes the marriage of Cana at Galilee, which was blessed by Christ and where He performed his first miracle. The miracle converted water into wine and was given to the newlyweds. Thus, wine is given to the couple as a remembrance.

The Ceremonial Walk:  The priest will then lead the Bride and Groom around a table on the altar three times. On the table are the Gospel and Cross. The steps around the table represent the unending journey of husband and wife. The Koumbaro or Koumbara walks behind the married couple holding the stefana in place.

The Removal of the Crowns:  After the Ceremonial Walk, the priest blesses the couple. The priest then removes the crowns and asks God to grant the couple a long, happy life together. He then separates the couples’ joined hands, reminding them that only God can separate the couple from one another.  This concludes the ceremony and the Bride and Groom are officially married!!

Other Important Facts: The Greek Orthodox faith is conservative, yet emblematic at the same time. It is very fulfilling spiritually. If a couple wishes to be married in the GO church, there are a few thoughts to keep in mind. One member of the couple must be Greek Orthodox. The non-GO partner must be baptized in the name of the Holy Trinity. Also, the couple cannot get married on certain holy days. The three greatest ones that come to mind are Lent, the first two weeks in August, and January 5th, the eve of Epiphany. Easter is the greatest holiday in the GO church, and Lent is a time of prayer, remembrance, and worship. August 15th is the Assumption of the Virgin Mary; the day believed to be when Mary ascended into Heaven after her death. Epiphany principally commemorates the revelation to the Gentiles of Jesus Christ as the Savior, as portrayed by the coming of the Three Wise Men.

DEARLY beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.

I REQUIRE and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that if any persons are joined together other than as God's Word doth allow, their marriage is not lawful.

JOHN Wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

The Man shall answer, I will.

JANE Wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

The Woman shall answer, I will.

Then shall the Minister say, Who giveth this Woman to be married to this Man?

I John take thee Jane to my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

I Jane take thee John to my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

WITH this Ring I thee wed: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

BLESS, O Lord, this Ring, that he who gives it and she who wears it may abide in thy peace, and continue in they favour, unto their life's end; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Let us pray.

OUR Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done, On Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

O ETERNAL God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this Man and this Woman, whom we bless in thy Name; that they, living faithfully together, may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, (whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge,) and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

O GOD, who hast so consecrated the state of Matrimony that in it is rep resented the spiritual marriage and unity betwixt Christ and his Church; Look mercifully upon these thy servants, that they may love, honour, and cherish each other, and so live together in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of blessing and of peace; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit ever, one God, world without end. Amen.

Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.

FORASMUCH as John and Jane have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a Ring, and by joining hands; I pronounce that they are Man and Wife, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

GOD the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you, and fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace; that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

At the day and time appointed for solemnization of Matrimony, the persons to be married shall come into the porch of the Church with their friends and neighbors; and there standing together, the Man on the right hand, and the woman on the left, with that person who shall give the Woman betwixt them, the Priest shall say:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in Paradise, and into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.

Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.

 I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, that ye confess it. For ye be well assured, that so many as be coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful. At which day of Marriage, if any man do allege and declare any impediment, why they may not be coupled together in Matrimony, by God's Law, or the Laws of the Realm; and will be bound, and sufficient sureties with him, to the parties; or else put in a Caution (to the full value of such charges as the persons to be married do thereby sustain) to prove his allegation; then the solemnization must be deferred, until such time as the truth be tried. If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Priest say unto the Man: Wilt the have this Woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt the love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

The Man shall answer: I will.

Then shall the Priest say to the Woman: Wilt the have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt the obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

The Woman shall answer: I will.

Thus ends the formal betrothal. The couple shall advance to the Altar, led by the Minister, who shall then turn to the assembled company, and say:

Who giveth this Woman to be married to this Man?

The person who gives the Woman shall answer, and shall place the Woman's right hand in the hand of the Minister, and then shall retire. Then shall they give their troth to each other in this manner: The Minister, receiving the Woman at her father's or friend's hands, shall cause the Man with his right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as followeth,

GROOM' VOW: "I, ___________, take thee __________ to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, for fairer or fouler, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereunto I plight thee my troth.

Then shall they loose their hands; and the Woman, with her right hand taking the Man by his right hand, shall likewise say after the Minister,

BRIDE'S VOW: I ___________ take thee___________ to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to be bonny and buxom at bed and at board, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereunto I plight thee my troth.

Then shall they again loose their hands; and the Man shall give unto the Woman a Ring, laying the same upon the Book with the accustomed duty to the Priest and Clerk. And the Priest shall bless the Ring(s) in the following manner:

Bless these Rings, O merciful Lord, that those who wear them, that give and receive them, may be ever faithful to one another, remain in your peace, and live and grow old together in your love, under their own vine and fig tree, and seeing their children's children. Amen.

And the Priest, taking the Ring, shall deliver it to the Man, to put it on the fourth finger of the Woman's left hand. And the Man holding the ring there, and taught by the Priest, shall say,

GROOM: With this Ring I thee wed, (here placing it upon her thumb) and with my body I thee honor, (here placing it upon her index finger) and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; (here placing it upon her ring finger) In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

If it be a double-ring ceremony, let the Woman do the same as the Man, giving him the ring, and repeating the same words as he. They both shall kneel down; and the Minister shall say,

Let us pray. O Eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life; Send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy Name; + that, as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, whereof this Ring given and received is a token and pledge, and may ever hereafter remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And here shall be said the LORD'S PRAYER.

Then shall the Priest join their right hands together, and say,

Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder. Then shall the Minister speak unto the people. Forasmuch as N and N have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce therefore that they be Man and Wife together, in the Name of the Father, + and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

The Minister shall add this blessing.

God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

And here the Minister shall turn the couple to the Company, and they may kiss each the other, and then proceed from the Altar. And if it be the wish of the couple to take Communion, they may do it privately, following these ceremonies.

Planning a military wedding can be a battle, but living as a military wife can be war! That is, of course, if you neglect to prepare yourself for life as a military wife. Here are some helpful hints to ease the transition into your new role as a military spouse.

1. If you will be relocating, find out everything you can about your new home. Surf the Internet. Contact your new town's Chamber of Commerce and request the free brochures that it offers. Sometimes you will be matched with a military sponsor at your new post who can answer questions-get in touch with your sponsor *before* you arrive!

Once you arrive, you will begin your existence as a working military wife or as a homemaking military wife. If you would like to work, arrive with resumes on hand to pass out to potential employers as well as a few sharp interview outfits to wear as you pound the pavement. if you wish to be a homemaker but would still like to become an active member of the community, look into performing volunteer work. There are many opportunities to do this on a military installation.

2. If your husband will be deployed and you will remain at your current residence, work to keep your marriage alive. Write letters to and create "care packages" for your spouse. Note: Homemade cookies are a lovely thought but sending food can be messy in the long run). Obtain a cell phone so that you can receive calls from your husband day or night.  You will want to remain busy. Stick with at your current job or, if you are not working outside the home, stay active in your church/mosque/temple or with your hobbies.

3. As a military wife, you may be invited to attend various functions with your husband. These functions are often social in nature and while they are supposed to be fun, you will be required to follow certain protocol depending on your husband's rank. There are books available at the PX (post exchange) or at your local library that can guide you as to how you should behave at such events.

4. Stay organized!! I have a special fire-proof lockbox that contains all of my husband's military paperwork. Whenever he needs a certain form, I have it on hand for him within minutes. This is especially handy when one of his superiors wants to see that form on the double!

5. Remember the old adage-"Loose lips can sink ships". Protecting security on military installations is more important than ever! Refrain from discussing military business in public, over the internet and on the phone.

6. Finally, accept the life that you and your husband have chosen. There will be times when your husband has to deploy overseas, and you will feel lonely. It is imperative that you stay focused and active while you remain at home. If your husband knows that you are keeping a positive mental attitude, he will be able to concentrate on doing a great job while he is away on military business and you will find peace of mind as well.

7. Arch of the Sword - The outstanding feature of a military wedding that differs from other ceremonies is the arch of swords through which the bride and groom pass at the end of the ceremony. Only commissioned officers are allowed this honor. As soon as the service is over, the ushers (usually 6 or 8) line up at the foot of the chancel steps. Friends and relatives leave the chapel prior to this so that they can watch. At the head usher’s command, "Draw swords", they hold up their swords (blades up) to form an arch. (Navy ceremonies use an arch of swords and Army ceremonies incorporate sabers.) The couple passes through, the head usher says, "Return swords", and the men put them back in their sheaths. They then turn and escort the bridesmaids down the aisle. The tradition of the bride and groom walking through the arch of swords is meant to ensure the couple's safe passage into their new life together.

Alternatively, the arch may be formed outside the church entrance. The ushers leave by a side door, hurry to the front of the church, and are waiting, swords raised, when the couple emerges. The bridesmaids walk out two by two but do not pass through the arch.

Any civilian ushers in the party line up beside the others and stand at attention as the bride and groom pass by. Therefore, unless the ushers are all officers, it is wiser to omit this ceremony since it would not achieve the same impact.

Many couples like to include a statement acknowledging their different backgrounds and faiths to begin the wedding ceremony. The purpose is to emphasize their appreciation for their own and each other’s traditions.

Example 1: "(Bride) and (groom) have created this ceremony. They have woven from threads of two traditions, a fabric that represents who they are together. They wish to share with you their reflections on marriage and their hopes for the future…."

Example 2: "Out of two different and distinct traditions, they have come together to learn the best of what each has to offer, appreciating their differences, and confirming that being together is far better than being apart from each other. As we bless this marriage under the chuppah, the Jewish symbol of the new home being consummated here, we will later light the unity candle, the Christian symbol of two people becoming one in marriage.

Common Jewish -  Christian Conflicts

Officiant: Christ calls you into union with him and with one another.  I ask you now in the presence of God and this congregation to declare your intent.  Will you have this man to be your husband, to live together in a holy marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

Bride: I will

Officiant: Will you have this woman to be your wife, to live together in a holy marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

"The breaking of the glass at the end of a wedding ceremony serves to remind of two very important aspects of a marriage. The bride and groom - and everyone - should consider these marriage vows as an IRREVOCABLE ACT - just as permanent and final as the breaking of this glass is unchangeable. But the breaking of the glass also is a warning of the FRAILTY of a marriage. That sometimes a single thoughtless act, breech of trust, or infidelity can damage a marriage in ways that are very difficult to undo - just as it would be so difficult to undo the breaking of this glass. Knowing that this marriage is permanent, the bride and groom should strive to show each other the love and respect befitting their spouse and love of their life."

Background

The purpose of marriage in the Bible are for companionship and procreation. In the past, they were usually arranged by parents, but the bride's consent was asked.

Jewish weddings can occur any day of the week except the Sabbath, Jewish festivals, the three weeks between the 17th of Tammuz and the 9th of Av, and the "sefirah" period Passover & Shavuot (Lag Ba-Omer and other exceptions).

It is customary for the bride to wear white and a headdress & veil. Jews from oriental countries wear elaborate costumes richly embroidered. The groom may wear a "kitel" (a white garment) along with a tallit.

Before the ceremony, the groom, in the presence of witnesses, undertakes an act of "kinyan" (the obligations of the Ketubah). This is done by taking a handkerchief or some other object by the Rabbi, lifting it and returning it. The groom and witnesses then sign the Ketubah. The groom is then led to the "Huppah" by two male relatives facing Jerusalem. The bride is led in by the Mothers usually to the accompaniment of a blessing of welcome chanted by the Rabbi. Sometimes the bride is led in 7 circles around the groom to ward off evil spirits.

The bride stands to the right of the groom and the Rabbi recites the marriage blessings over a goblet of wine. Both the bride & groom then drink from the glass. The groom places the wedding ring on the forefinger of the bride's right hand and recites the marriage formula. The "ketubah" (marriage contract) is then read and the 7 marriage benedictions are recited.

In most ceremonies, the groom then crushes the glass under his right foot and the Rabbi invokes the "priestly blessings". The couple is then escorted away.

Definitions

Huppah: The term was originally referred to as the bridal canopy or bridal chamber. It consists of a cloth spread on four staves. The cloth can be of an elaborate design or a large Talis may be spread over the staves.

The Ring: It has become universal Jewish practice to use a ring, except in a few communities where a coin is used. The ring must belong to the bridegroom and be free of any precious stones. In the ceremony, the groom gives the ring to the bride as an act of acquisition and the bride, by accepting it, becomes his wife.

Ketubah: It is a document recording, in Aramaic, the financial obligations which the husband undertakes toward his wife in respect of their marriage. It was instituted for the purpose of protecting the woman so that the husband would not find it easy to divorce her.  Here's the formal text of a leg al ketubah, just in case anyone was curious. It's in Aramaic; this is a standard English translation. All dates are according to the Hebrew calendar, all names are in Hebrew.

"On the ____ day of the week, the ____ day of the month ____ in the year five thousand seven hundred and ____ since the creation of the world, in the city of ____: _____ son of _____ said to this maiden ____ daughter of ____, "Be my wife according to the laws of Moses and Israel, and I will cherish, honor, support and maintain you in accordance with the custom of Jewish husbands who cherish, honor, support and maintain their wives faithfully. And I here present you with the marriage gift of maidens, two hundred silver zuzim, which belongs to you, according to the law of Moses and Israel, and I will also give you your food, clothing and necessities, and live with you as husband and wife according to the universal custom." And the maiden _____ consented and became his wife. The trousseau that she brought to him from her father's house, in silver, gold, valuables, clothing, furniture and bedclothes, all this _______, said bridegroom, accepted in the sum of one hundred silver zuzim, and _____, the bridegroom, agreed to increase this amount from his own property with the sum of one hundred silver zuzim, making in all two hundred silver zuzim.

And thus said ____, the bridegroom: "The responsibility of this marriage contract, of this trousseau, and of this additional sum, I take upon myself and my heirs after me, so that they shall be paid from the best part of my property and possessions that I have beneath the whole heaven, that which I now possess or that which I may hereafter acquire. All my property, real and personal, even the shirt from my back, shall be mortgaged to secure the payment of this marriage contract, of this trousseau and the addition made to it, during my lifetime and after my death, from the present day and forever." _____, the bridegroom, has taken upon himself the respon- sibility of this marriage contract, of the trousseau and of the addition made to it, according to the restrictive usages of all marriage contracts and the adjoins to them made for the daughters of Israel, according to the institutions of our sages of blessed memory. It is not to be regarded as a mere forfeiture without consideration or as a mere formula of a document.

We have followed the legal formality of delivery and acceptance (kinyan) between ____ the son of ____, the bridegroom, and _____ the daughter of _____, the maiden, and we have used a garment legally fit for the purpose, to strengthen everything that is said above.

AND ALL IS VALID AND BINDING.

Attested to: _____________ Witness _____________________
Attested to: _____________ Witness _____________________

Wine Ceremony

The years of life will have some hardships and disappointments, of which this bitter wine is a symbol, remember to forgive the frailties of one another. Bear together life’s adversities and be confident that the good will always return. (Groom takes a sip, then passes it to Bride)

The years of life have indeed, much happiness, joy, hope and goodness, of which this sweet wine is a token. We ask that you drink of it together, and as you do, earnestly seek the power and wisdom to use all the pleasure and prosperity that may come to you with gratitude and modesty, with sympathy for those less fortunate than yourselves. (Groom takes a sip, then passes it to Bride, who then gives it back to the minister)

As you have shared the wine from these goblets, so may you share your lives. May you find life’s joys heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and all of life enriched by a constant love.

Jewish Wedding Ceremony

By custom, all of the immediate relatives are part of the wedding party. The bride and groom are escorted down the aisle by their parents. To lead their children to the huppah is considered a parent’s highest joy. Their fathers and mothers escort both bride and groom. If there are grandparents, they are given a special place in the procession. Under the huppah the bride stands to the right of the groom. Under Orthodox custom, the bride may circle the groom seven times (representing the seven wedding blessings) before taking her place at his right. The number seven represents the idea of the seven heavens, the seven wedding blessings and the seven days of Creation. Symbolically, the bride is thought to be entering the seven spheres of her beloved’s soul. The circle created by the bride is regarded as the space the couple will now share, separate from parents.

The seven Jewish wedding blessings praise God for:

1. Creating the fruit of the vine: the blessing over the wine, or kiddush
2. Creating the earth and all that is in it
3. Creating humanity
4. Creating man and woman in God’s image
5. The miracle of birth
6. Bringing the bride and groom together to rejoice and live in harmony as did the first couple, Adam and Eve
7. The joy of the bride and groom and the hope for a world that will one day be filled with the joy of lovers and the laughter of children

The rabbi begins the ceremony by reading the invocation. Then, the rabbi recites the betrothal benediction over a glass of wine, a symbol of sanctification in which the praise to the one God is voiced. The prayer is: We praise you, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. The bride and groom sip the wine. During most wedding ceremonies, the groom lifts the bride’s veil after he has tasted the wine.

After the introduction by the rabbi, the groom recites his wedding vow and gives the ring to the bride. The wedding vow he recites in Hebrew is: Thou art consecrated unto me with this ring as my wife, according to the law of Moses and Israel.

Traditionally the ring for the bride is a simple gold band without any engravings. This type of ring is used because it shows the true value and purity of the ring. At the ceremony the ring is placed on the bride's right index finger because it is the finger that points at the words when reading the Torah. Modern brides that follow this custom will sometimes switch the ring to the left hand after the ceremony.

Next the ketubbah is read aloud. This is followed by a reading of the seven wedding benedictions by various guests. During this reading the bride and groom sip their wine. The benedictions are as follows:

• Blessed art Thou, O lord our God, King of the Universe who hast created the fruit of the vine.
• Blessed art Thou, O lord our God, King of the Universe who has created all things for His glory.
• Blessed art Thou, O lord our God, King of the universe, creator of man.
• Blessed art Thou, O lord our God, King of the Universe who hast made man in his image, after his likeness, and hast prepared for him out of his very self, a perpetual fabric.
• Blessed art Thou, O Lord, creator of man. May she who was barren be exceedingly glad and rejoice when her children are united in her midst in joy.
• Blessed art Thou, O Lord, who makes Zion joyful through her children. O Lord, make these beloved companions greatly rejoice even as Thou didst rejoice at Thy creation in the Garden of Eden as of old.
• Blessed art Thou, O Lord, who makest bridegroom and bride to rejoice.
• Blessed art Thou, O lord our God, King of the Universe, who has created joy and gladness, bridegroom and bride, mirth and exultation, pleasure and delight, love, brotherhood, peace and fellowship. Soon may there be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the jubilant voice of the bridegrooms from the canopies, and of youths from their feasts of song
• Blessed art Thou, O Lord who makest the bridegroom to rejoice with the bride.

When the reading is done, the groom smashes a glass with his foot. The breaking of the glass symbolizes the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem centuries ago. When the wedding ceremony has ended, the guests wish the couple mazel tov, meaning good luck.

Breaking the Wine Glass

Sharing a glass of wine and breaking the glass is a Jewish custom. Ask three rabbis what it means; you'll get three different answers. If your officiate can explain the significance of the custom, you may invite him to do so, but if the tradition is important to you, just do it!

A fragile wine glass is placed on the altar or table, filled with no more wine than the two of you can comfortably consume quickly in front of all your guests. At the very end of the ceremony, either accompanied by words of explanation or not, the officiate or Best Man hands the Groom the glass of wine. The Groom presents it to the Bride, who drinks as much of it as she wants without draining the glass. She then hands the glass back to the Groom who is required by the mechanics of the situation to finish the wine.

The empty glass is handed back to the Best Man, who wraps the glass in a linen napkin and places it on the floor in front of the Groom. The Groom stomps on it, and general hurrahs or mazeltovs erupt from the guests. Then the Bride & Groom recess.

Don't use an industrial strength, discount store wine glass. You don't want the Groom either to drive a large shard of unbroken glass through the bottom of his shoe or fail to break the glass altogether. A sneaky Best Man can substitute a linen-wrapped light bulb for the glass. The bulb gives a satisfying crunch and there's no wasted wine glass.

(This rite is to be preformed out-of-doors.  The circle's edge is outlined with stones.  There should be a tree at the North or East and can be decorated with ribbons, flowers, fairy light, or the like.)

(All guests enter the ritual area, and stand forming another circle inside the stone circle.)

Priest: "Let the four directions be honored that power and radiance might enter our circle for the good of all beings."

Caller of the North: "With the blessing of the deep and fruitful earth, we call upon the powers of the North."

Caller of the South:  "With the blessing of the inner fire of the sun, we call upon the powers of the South."

Caller of the West: "With the blessing of the sacred waters of the pool, we call upon the powers of the West."

Caller of the East: "With the blessing of the clear pure air, we call upon the powers of the East."

Priestess:  "May the harmony of our circle be complete."

Priest: "We stand upon this Holy Earth and in the Face of Heaven to witness the Sacred Rite of Marriage between (Groom) and (Bride).  Just as we come together as family and friends so we ask for the Greater Powers to be present here within our Circle.  May this Sacred Union be filled with their Holy Presence. I invoke the God of Love whose name is Angus Mac Og to be present in this Sacred Place.  In his name is Love declared."

Priestess:  "I invoked the Goddess of the Bright Flame whose name is Brigid to be present in this Sacred Place.  In Her name is Peace declared."

Priest:  "In the name of the Ancestors whose Traditions we honor."

Priestess:  "In the name of those who gave us Life."

Both:  "May we all unite in Love."

(The Bride and Groom, shrouded in black (symbolizing the mystery of love), and walking hand-in-hand, enter accompanied by their Attendants, and if possible the Couple's Parents.  Either the Groom or his Attendant brings a sword or other weapon.  The Bride and Groom walk three times around the fire.  Upon completing three revolutions, their attendants remove the shrouds.  The Bride and Groom kiss, and all the guests shout and wave branches and flowers in approval.)

Priestess:  "Standing before us are (Groom) and (Bride).  May we all bid them hail and welcome."

Everyone:  "Hail!"

(Bride stands before High Preist and Groom stands before High Preistess.)

High Preistess (to Bride):  "Are you (Bride)?"

Bride:  "I am."

High Priest:  "What is your desire?"

Bride:  "To be joined with (Groom) in the prescence of the Gods and our friends."

(High Preist places a wreath of roses on the Bride's head.)

High Preist:  "I welcome you with joy."

High Preistess (to Groom):  Are you (Groom)?

Groom:  I am

High Preistess:  "What is your desire?"

Groom:  "To be joined with (Bride) in the presence of teh Gods and our friends."

(High Priestess places a wreath of greenery on the Groom's head.)

High Priestess:  "I welcome you with joy."

(The Priest and Preistess bring the Bride and Groom's parents into the circle.  The Groom's parents and attendant stand with him, the Bride's parents and attendant with her.  The Bride's Father has carried with him a sword or other weapon.)

Father:  I bring you (Bride), my child and my treasure.  (Father passes his weapon over Bride's head to the Groom) Take this sword and mind that always you must be strong, whole, and ready in service to protect thy bride.

Groom (as he accepts the weapon from Bride's Father):  "I, (Groom), do vow this before the Gods of our people."

High Priestess:  "Then nothing may stand in your way!"

High Priest (to Bride):  "Take the hand of your love in yours (The Bride takes Grooms left hand in her left) and say after me:
By seed and root, by bude and stem, by leaf and flower and fruit, by life and by love, in the name of teh God, I take thee to my hand, my heart and my spirit, at the setting of the sun and the rising of the stars.  Nor shall death part us, for in the ripeness of time we shall meet, and know, and remember, and love again.  Flesh of thy flesh, bone of thy bone, I here, thou there, yet both as one."

Bride:  By seed and root, by bud and stem, by leaf and flower and fruit, [CONTINUES]

High Priestess (to Groom):  "Take the hand of your love in yours (The Groom takes teh Bride's right hand in his right) and say after me:  "By seed and root, by bud and stem, by leaf and flower and fruit, by life and by love, in the name of the Goddess, I take thee to my hand, my heart and my spirit, at the setting of the sun and the rising of the stars.  Nor shall death part us, for in the ripeness of time we shall meet, and know, and remember, and love again.  Flesh of they flesh, bone of thy bone, I here, thou there, yet both as one."

(Groom repeats the vow.)

(Priestess stands in place, Priest brings Groom's Mother to stand facing Groom and Bride.  Priestess hands her the chord.)

Mother (Says a few words of her own, then as she is placing the cord around the heands of the Bride and Groom):
"May you be ever joined as one, happy and together before all you come to meet and know, and before the Divine."

High Priestess:  "As the Sun and Moon bring light to the Earth do you (Groom) and (Bride) vow to bring the light of love and joy to the union?"

Bride and Groom:  "We do."

High Priest:  "And do you vow to honor each other as you honor which you hold most sacred?"

Bride and Groom:  "We do."

High Preistess:  "And do you vow to maintain these vows in freedom, for as long as love shall last?"

Bride and Groom:  "We do."

High Preist:  "Let our friends and our Gods bear witness that (Bride) and (Groom) are joined in love, joy and freedom."

All:  "So let it be."

(High Preist unbinds Bride's and Groom's wrists.)

High Priestess:  "All things in Nature are circular - night becomes day, day becomes night and night becomes day again.  The moon waxes and wanes and waxes again.  There is Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter and then the Spring returns.  These things are a part of the Great Mysteries.  (Groom) and (Bride), do you bring your symbols of these Great Mysteries of Life?"

Bride and Groom, in turn: (Bride/Groom):  "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you.  Let it remind you always, as it circles your finger, of my eternal love, surrounding you and enfolding you day and night.  You are my beloved bride/bridegroom and I marry you today with this ring as I give you my heart, my body, and the very breath of my soul."

High Priestess:  "Then seal your promise with a kiss."

(Bride and Groom kiss)

High Preist:  "Let those assembled here bear witness that (Bride) and (Groom) are joined in love.  May their love partake of the beauty, majesty, and power of the sacred land and may the grow together in wisdom, joy, and harmony.  My own blessings and the blessings of all those assembled be with you."

High Priestess:  "The blessings of the Goddess and God be with you."

High Priest:  The blessings of the ancestors be with you.

Highs Priestess:  And with all that grows from your union.

High Priest:  So let it be!

All:  So let it be!

(Bride and Groom may jump over the broomstick)

More Wicca Weddings? Go to http://www.geocities.com/tragicpixie/HandfastingMain.html

Renewal of Marriage Commitment